Yesterday evening I ate a Caesar salad which contained cow�s milk, eggs, fish, wheat, gluten and garlic. Funnily enough when I went out later on not one vampire with food allergies came anywhere near me. Whilst standing at the bar some guy asked my friend if she wanted to suck on a long hot chilli. Her reply was �Come again? Is that supposed to be a chat up line? Reeeally. Look at your dirty coat and everything�� I start to get a little wary in situations like this because no matter how many times I tell her not to start arguments with people bigger (and scarier?) than us she doesn�t listen. We hang about in some fairly seedy places. I don�t want to aggravate members of drugs gangs, gangs in general, rude boys (these are like class C really, fairly harmless) or girls with attitude. I am not a fast runner or a fighter.

Hey! This reminds me. I was born in the year of the boar. Yes, that is correct, BOAR.
Don�t go dissin the motherfuckin bore yo because they have a lot going for them. Seeing as the description said I'm a peace lover and don�t �like to add fuel to the fire in a confrontation� I was adamant we were not getting into a brawl on Chinese New Year. You think you can be all superior because you were born in the year of the Dragon (michealmickklemus mc petula clark) or Tiger (Fiont�n) or a lovely Sheep (Claudia) but I am merrily snorting away, kept warm by my coarse hair and handing out my nose ring to passing owls and pussycats. Besides, M was born in the same year as me so I am dragging him down too.

Lunatics � Apparently 6 people are still recovering in hospital after a new store opening of Ikea at midnight (last night?/this morning?) attracted over 6,000 people. Hello? Does midnight sound like a sensible time to be purchasing a faktum or a tassa skog. Is it ever a sensible time to go to Ikea? I am thinking not. Speaking of lunatics, I don�t think it would be good for me to discuss Robbie William�s Angels winning best British song of 25 years at the Brits over Joy Division�s Love Will Tear Us Apart. In fact I am not going to at all. Instead I will say that I am wearing a horrible pair of jeans that ride too low whenever I sit down. And a label from my top is repeatedly digging into my side.

Soso