OK no, let�s all write this instead.

I did a lot of things for my birthday. If I can find another person who has not seen me since then I am eking it out even further. Milk that baby for all it�s worth.

One of the important things is that M and I had a lot of delicious food.

Another crucial matter is presents. I am lucky in that people who love me are very kind and spend a long time picking out the perfect gift for me. Or they just pick up anything from anywhere because I am such an easily pleased gift whore. I am the easiest person to buy anything for because I am fascinated by very little. By that I mean you could give me something moulded from blu-tack and I would be glowing. WOOOO A STATIONARY CUPBOARD I AM EXPLORING THAT (work)

Because yes I am that sad

What else? Oh yes, I got some very delicious jewellery goods. I am still waiting for Van Den Berg to finish making something for me and it will be ready hopefully tomorrow���. I have Googled and this is the website. I am scrunching in excitement.

M bought me an extremely lovely engraved solid silver key ring, the Snow Patrol album, flowers, chocolate buttons and was in general a lovely boy. Everything is lovely falalalala.

I love that boy this much and it is invisible so you can�t see it but it is wafting around in the atmosphere. Adding to this while I am on vomit levels he always looks so sexy in bed late at night. I can�t stop staring. It makes me almost glad that there is a street lamp disallowing darkness because it would be a lost image.

I also love the thunderstorms and downpour of rain. I dislike the sweaty, humid build up.

Yesterday was a momentous day * for when I walked in to work E the LUNATIC (my colleague) said �boy am I glad to see you�

This is the second** time recently that I have been stunned.

I said �pardon?!� because what in the parallel universe have I stepped into is going on.

She repeated it a little embarrassed. This makes me feel bad because it�s not that I don�t like her it�s just that she has chronic obsessive compulsive disorder and I can�t be near her for too long without gritting my teeth. I am so mean and horrible. But then, I have to go through some of these obsessive compulsive tendencies, have to walk Here up These steps before I can get to here, have to cross Here, cannot leave my house without Checking This and have to go back home so many times to make sure, cannot go to sleep unless approximately 14 rituals have been completed, must do things in This order, must suppress killing somebody or crying or showing totally irrational anger if it is messed up, must not think that M will be killed on the way home if I say the wrong thing or if I don�t say it.

Sometimes inside my head is chanting COME ON COME ON COME ON when I am working and having to communicate with her.

Arr, she was pleased to see me and I am shitty and horrid.

* When we were little and did anything out of the ordinary i.e. wash up, be kind etc my dad would say �well, I am going to write this in my diary.� He, being him, obviously has never kept a diary in his life. The closest he ever got was drawing breasts on his school books. Then again, I have never kept a diary in my life either and drew all over my school books too.

** The first was when my brother�s band played and sang me happy birthday in front of everybody when I went to watch them. I died.

In other news, what is the story in Balamory? Why am I going out of my way to help out with children�s things when they only want to watch television? Just let them watch cartoons. Having said that, they adore being read stories and try, wait they do, climb on top of me to get close to the book. It is a fairly uncomfortable experience.

OOOH I started thinking of hats and have just remembered about the community police volunteers. The same pair that vetoed the Saturday night my brother�s band were playing turned up the next day when M, myself and many of my brothers and sisters were lazily drinking and lounging about in the shade of the park watching a jazz band perform. I think they just do that job for the hats. It�s not for the money.

I have to go to sleep now. I spent a lot of this evening using up my energy in animated chat to Fin, reading and finally cleaning out stinky Betty and Doris� tank.

Inkysoso is pretty certain her underwear was inappropriately on display at work