This is making me think of my poor plants. The other day I noticed that they were all but dead and so I gave them a bath. Really, I put them in to the bath tub and sprinkled and soaked them with lots of watery love. Now they are all perky and happy. This makes me feel even meaner because they are so easily pleased and I am neglectful.
Let us hope I don�t spawn.
Unless it is in the Alien sense, then it would be ok.
OUCHFUCKAMONGA I just put a little party pack size snickers horizontally in my mouth from cheek to cheek and my gums were pierced by the sharp nuttiness.
Well, I am a graduate. Of course, as I perfectly guessed, there was hours of old men talking crap. This is a summary of old men conversation:
�I can remember 50 years ago my own graduation splinking splink splink my hat is too big for me, I have coached the many students in football over the years, where is my hat pin? MY HUGE HAIR HAS ENGULFED MY HAT PIN, I wish my hair was not so huge and that is why we set up the charity for Anna MAN my underwear is up my crack and that concludes... I will go up there and smile and all the time be thinking about my underwear crack situation, this university is now opening a centre in Dubai wooh nervesnerves blippityblippitybleep motherfucking shit I cannot see a thing WHY OH WHY do I never remember my glasses Presenting to you the Lord Shepherd of Dinglebury�
I think some of my own thoughts got entwined. So many old blokes giving so many speeches. There was about 15 minutes of graduate certificate getting and 4 hours of blah blah they have wheeled us out for the day and We. Will. Speak. For. Ever. So. Long. In the shocked me category: I didn�t realise how many friends I had made until Wednesday. Mostly everyone was in different classes and some people I only saw for a couple of months but all combined there were lots of friends and it was excellent to see them. They all cheered me when it was my turn to go up which I wasn�t expecting and made me laugh. My mum and dad and The M were all there and I was making them be proud. You can be embarrassing because you are proud of me, aren�t you? AREN�T YOU, SAY YES! Maybe this is not the usual route of family proudness on graduation day but I take what I make. It�s a bit like getting what you give but induced. Or something, I don�t know what I am talking about.
Another really good thing about the day was that during university I made two very close friends. One left after a year and the other has been studying abroad since February. He came back a couple of days ago and as I was getting to third base * with the gown dressy people I looked over and he was standing being robed next to me. AAAAAAAAH people say all the emotions happen in your heart but that�s rubbish, it�s the less romantic stomach. My stomach did such a happy lurch and we had to stand there all standy being dressed and not being able to screeeam for ages before we could hug and smooch.
* I don�t know what third base is but a costume dresser (rober? Clothes putter-onner?) is excellent employment if you are into touching up strangers.
And then I started drinking. In total, it would be a really cool fun day out if it did not include the nervousness and massively boring turd bits, ridiculous outfits and was just about the seeing friends and parents and boyfriend being all happy and good and the drinking.
Oh so boring to keep harping on about my graduation but one other memorable incident occurred. As I was handing back my gown I took the coloured bit off and I thought oooh looks like a cape! And then nanoseconds later this rugby player boy that I liked in my first year and who I went out drinking with a couple of times walked up behind me and announced �I don�t want to give it back, I feel like Batman� How little my tastes in the opposite sex change over the years.
At the moment if you want to know where I am I am either:
Babysitting
Working
Asleep
That is what it�s sadly about people. Where are all the fun bits and sweet loving? I am sacrificing this for the above and not through personal choice but through the persuasion of others and the persuasion of my natural bodily functioning. Gio fell down the stairs and got signed off for a week so there is no one burping in my ear, snorting mucus, telling me about people who have sex with animals or the strangest things doctors have pulled out of people etc. Just boring cock. It took me a long time to get ready this morning because I set my screensaver to photos. A photo floats on every few seconds and I get mesmerised quite easily.
I feel a bit rubbish. Maybe I need some sugar or some tea. This is in line with my stomach as emotional power theory. I am looking at my bed and trying to summon up the enthusiasm to�..
Eyyyy I just did the bed jumpy dance to Insane in the Brain. Feeling a bit better now.
Wish He was here even though he would probably be asleep but that is alright because he makes me laugh in his sleep and if I talk to him he talks back. The other night held my hand. He thinks it is reflex affection actions but whatever, as I said I take what I make and I take the loving affection and not the reflex niceness. I grab the loving affection by the sweaty paw and run away with it and tell it rubbish jokes because I can�t tell jokes and then we go to a party and loving affection and I have a wonderful time and I don�t laugh from my belly and accidentally snort but I laugh a delicate twinkly laugh.
I can�t stop singing Volcano by Damien Rice, it�s playing on constant morbid loop in my head.
Someone that I speak to on the computer (on messenger) that I have never met sounded surprised when I said I was short. I asked how tall I talk and he said at least 5�5. My talk aims high. Amen.
Inkysoso knows that volcanoes melt you down