If my internet could speak at the moment it would be saying PLINK PLONK PLINK���� PLONK PLI��.. in a high tinny I�m so slow and lethargic that I may as well not exist type of voice. At no time does this suit me. I end up opening more and more pages while the previous ones are still loading until eventually it all goes BU BU BU BU and dies. My computer has no reset button.

I don�t know why I go into the minutiae of everything

A few days ago I dreamt that I was working as an apprentice builder. If you know me, you will understand how hugely odd this idea is. I slowly discovered that I was working with a cowboy builder and eventually a murderer. We were standing at the bottom of a drainage system and he threw a machete up. It sliced a lady�s head off which rolled all the way down and landed at our feet. I didn�t seem that bothered just a little shocked. If anybody wants to employ me as an apprentice builder I am all for it! I can�t do anything builderey but I would get to wear a hard hat and a white vest and go near dangerous tools and I make tremendous cups of tea.

I smell beautiful right now. I stole a hoody from M. For years I have wanted to covet it and finally IT IS MINE. I feel a little guilty that he had to walk home in a t-shirt in the rain but not that guilty. Now I am snuggled in soft hoody goodness and it smells like M. Lord knows why he always smells so nice. I am not the only person to notice it. Plus, I ran out of deodorant so I stole his. It�s probably a bit weird to smell like another person and there is probably some unwritten rule that it is not the done thing but pooh to that. I watched a programme about lambing. When a lamb�s mother dies in birth and the lamb of another sheep does not survive they (the farmers) skin the dead lamb and the live one wears it as a jacket and settles in with its new mother. How this is related (in case you are lost): I smell like another lamb and maybe I should go and visit M�s mother and she will think I am her child and look after me and feed me homemade Yorkshire puddings and do all my washing. Damn I smell good.

I saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers in Hyde Park on Friday night. The sunset was supremely good. The cameras turned and showed it on the big screens. Weirdly, after shitty weather all week the sun came out that afternoon and everyone got to stand warmly in t-shirts. It is shocking that this good weather happened. I can only ever imagine standing in the rain at open air music events. I think only a few days ago I was talking about my James Brown dancing doll button pressing incident. Well, Friday night I saw him in real life (supporting). He looked pretty similar to the dancing doll. The Peppers were excellent, obviously. The atmosphere was very relaxed for the whole evening and I had a couple of moments of feeling so incredibly happy. I had beer (the beer queue was about a million people long), friends, warmness, chips, the music, loads of lights on stage (how I love flashy, trashy lights) and most importantly M.

Today I walked the dog with M and my sister. We have to take my dog to a big country park because he is so big. The nearest park to us is a bit ornamental and he doesn�t really fit in it. I thought it would be a good idea to run into a field of very long grass and flowers and lie down and hide from him. Only realised what a terrible idea this was as he was charging at my head and I had no time to move. I think my skull was jarred. Again, freakishly, the sun was shining all the way round the park. Within minutes of returning home the sky turned black and it rained until it stormed this evening. There are so many things that make me laugh about my dog. He has comically expressive eyebrows. The other day M looked down at him from the stairs and said �have you ever known a dog pull so many faces?� When he is in the park the things I never stop laughing at are when he troughs about in the most disgusting, muddy, cow shitty holes and ditches and emerges half black, smelling vile and then looks up with mud all over his nose and face with a �WHAT?� expression. When he storms out of a lake and shakes over everybody. This is less funny when he shakes all over me.

I have not so far mentioned the football. That was the most awful match I have ever seen. I don�t think there has ever been another major tournament where a team won with a valid goal and then had it disqualified for no reason.

Here is a reason I love my mother. We were out shopping and her and my aunt were talking about exercises. It was one of the most boring conversations I have ever heard. I think it was beaten only in terms of dullness by any and every conversation about cars. The only redeeming features were words like lunge and squat. This by the way has gone off the point of why I love my mother. That is because in response to talk from my aunt about standing on a ball and doing squats she shouted �YOU SQUAT OVER HIS BALLS?!� then whilst everybody in the area was staring gobsmacked at her she said �and now I have to walk away fast�. She then proceeded to walk away very fast. I was eating a triple scoop ice cream throughout the whole discussion.

I have just looked over this entry and realised that I cannot string any thoughts together coherently. Everything is thrown in and it goes from football to loving my mother with no middle ground. I don�t know. Middle ground? I�m not even sure what I mean. It's all backwards and forwards in time. I want to go to bed.

Inkysoso uncertain about what optional fields 1, 2 and 3 mean