Ow, I have paper cuts on paper cuts. If you are in a North London school and receive a library summer activities fun pack which looks like it is covered in blood and carnage, it�s mine (the blood and carnage not the activity pack, I don�t care if you send your kids to a leech infested swamp as a summer activity). Oh! This reminds me of a time I worked in a school and of a child called Hanifi. Hanifi was six. He ate ice cream for breakfast and put what he did not eat into a pocket for later. He was obsessed with knock knock jokes and chickens.

Knock Knock

Who�s there?

CHICKEN!!!!

Chicken who

(blank looks) A CHICKEN!

One topic was winning and losing. On winning: �You could win a chicken!� On losing (after a few seconds of thought): �You could lose your shoeses!� Then he went into the playground and threw his shoes on to the roof. It got to the stage where he knew that if he said chicken I would laugh and so would all the other children and for a while chicken littered conversations until it got to saturation point.

I am still laughing at this article. I am alternating between thinking ack poor chicken and then looking at its tiny wing and stark body and laughing all over again

This is related to nothing but I have been thinking that staplers are such fun. I have broken so many trying to open them up and see how the stapley goodness works. I think it�s the satisfactory crunch noise. The champion stationary equipment.

I am really tired and should go to bed and not type but what is more fun than sitting alone at half one in the morning typing rubbish? *

Ear muffs! I have a problem with ear muffs (muffs heh heh). Ears are meant to be cold. Ok, if you are in extreme snow conditions I will allow it because I don�t want to be responsible for you getting stalagmites (or stalactites I can�t remember which is dangling and which is going upwards) hanging from your ears and really ruining you for good. If you are in normal cold weather circumstances just warm your ears with your hands. Cold ears feel so good.

I obviously don�t have anything good to write. By good I mean anything to say that I have done because there is nothing. You can see through my ear muff, bald chicken, stapler ruse. My life is a big fat nothing of excitement and wonder. It�s ok for you - you sit there with all your hiphophippityhop happenings and I will sit here glaring with my paper cuts and dreams.

* Everything, which is why I am going to bed now

Inkysoso is a mofo