Today I told someone at work about my scar. I have never discussed it with friends before. The only people that really know are my family, M and whoever I�ve got down and dirty with in the past. It is awkward for me to talk about it with people I�ve got a friendship with. I worry that maybe they�ll think less of me, even though it wasn�t my fault. That they will be disgusted. We were talking about his girlfriend�s tattoo and got on to scars. I had the same feeling as exhaling after holding breath for a long time. I could feel it in my chest and head. He�s a nice guy and has gone way up in my estimation since telling me a hay fever remedy (!)

I was allowed to leave work fifteen minutes early and walked home in the sunshine. I was working at a different library today and usually love the walk home from there. Today every time I breathed in I could taste petrol fumes, pollution and heat. I hope it rains heavily to clear the air.

Love

M is funny and great. I love that man so much. He begins texts to me with �greetings�. Today it struck me that it�s an absurd way to start a text. It sounds like �greetings from Brighton� and it makes me smile. He wakes me up in fabulous ways and brings me a present every time he sees me. He is calm and gentle compared to my brash and clumsy. He is a story teller and I love listening. Sometimes he says �you don�t really care do you� when he starts telling me something and I always do care and am listening. I always win play dead because he can�t bear the thought of being tickled and watching him squirm makes me laugh. If I am very lucky he will sing me twinkle twinkle little star in the funniest voice ever and he makes a shit hot cup of tea (shit hot as in marvellous, not as in hot and shit. Just to clarify)

Inkysoso drinks it in the Congo