WHAT I WROTE LAST NIGHT BEFORE I FELL ASLEEP

Hey yo,

I am addicted to playing a fish tank game in which you drop little food pellets and make your fish big. This is not the full excitement that this game beholds ohhhhhh no. There are aliens that require destroying and when the fish get big they drop lots of coins which need colleting. If this was not enough there are also stars, weapons and magic potions. The consequence of all this is that whenever I close my eyes gold and silver coins rain down in the dark.

M and I went to see Garden State on Saturday. It was showing on screen 15 which was a strange set up because the screens are laid out something like this:

Upstairs: 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Downstairs: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
15

Why is 15 all the way down and round there like an afterthought? They could have labelled it 8 and then shifted the rest along numerically. It was a plush little screening room with it�s own bar. I really enjoyed the film for some of the observations on friendships. That sounds extraordinarily cheesy but I really only mean I liked the way Braff portrayed little honest details in human interactions. The only real disappointment was a rubbish airport ending. I needed it to have finished ten minutes earlier to avoid the cringing.

That popcorn fest led to getting some hot chips on the way home led to sharing ice cream later on led to three days of gorging leading to this evening�s ultimate SHAME and shamefulness. Last night I went out for Christmas drinks (these are the same as all other drinks but with some pretty pathetic pub decorations thrown in) and feeling drink warmed and munchy on the way home afterwards walked to Mcdonalds (shameful in itself). I had twisty fries. This evening I came home from work and found my sister and her friend Cor looking slightly mad and hungry after some home-made Gin Blossoms. We went out foraging for food and managed to get as far as Mcdonalds. A man shouted out �Hey, you were here last night! You got twisty fries! Where are you from?!�
It is so shaming that I never go to Mcdonalds and yet somehow am recognised as the girl who eats there two nights in a row. This is my strange conversation with Mcdonalds Man:

Me: Yeah, twisty fries! Where am I from? What?
He: Where are you from?
Me: Well, London?
He: No, you�re an American singer!
Me: What?
He: After you left we were talking about you and some guys said you were an American singer
Me: [Blank sense of What The Fuck on my part]
He: Are you?
Me: No! I was just hungry
He (pointing to the cocktail twins): So are they American?
Me: No, I don�t know what you are talking about. I�m not American or a singer and neither are they�

It was at this point I thought the conversation had to stop. Plus, my sister and Cor were getting rowdy. The other bizarre incident was the first night I went my brother and his friend turned up as I was waiting for my twisty fries and tea. Apparently he was playing pool in the area and needed to change some money. There was a whole What are you doing here? What are you doing here?! situation. This proved quite groovy as walking along the street my brother and I had the first conversation we�ve had in months. We never fell out or anything but we don�t usually see one another all that much.

WHAT I WROTE TODAY, AM WRITING NOW, IN FACT

I met up with the boy Fin before we had to go to work and we exchanged Christmas gifts. We sat around in a caf� with apple crumble and tea. I was petrified because he spends hours painting for me and being the untalented �ho I can never return such greatness. This picture is so overly flattering because he scarily decided to paint a female based a little on me. She has my ridiculous hair flying out, and some of my features but she is more spirit than human. She is standing in front of a stained glass window. Ro and I managed to track down a Marilyn Monroe book of postcards that he has wanted for years. We also got him a photo of the three of us printed and framed. In it we look snug and happy.

M had his long hair cut! It was a little sad and I miss it. I think he does too. He still looks as cute as ever so all is good and well in the land of um the people I fancy? The land of the good and well? Anyway, all is swimmingly ok. I am so so so so so so so can�t waiting until Christmas. Is it not Christmas yet? Is it not going to hurry the fuck up because I can�t wait! Some people wrongly think this is a time for children. Or a time that has become too commercial. They are wrong. I am squirmingly excited (man I need sex) and the only horrible thing about too commercial is the my ears they bleed songs that are played.

Oh oh oh thinking of bleeding ears now. Think of something else fast! Pig Penguin Elephant FishWizard

Did I mention the kids I saw abusing a nightmarish animatronic Father Christmas? Or was this conversation with Gio? It was in the window of a kebab shop and moved in epileptic spasms. A group of children had gathered round and were molesting him and climbing on him.

Tonight I am practising a little experiment and it may go amiss. I am wishing myself luck.

Inkysaltedpopcorn