*Fountain message: "Oh my goodness are you joining the NAVY? Or you can be a hairdresser but really you need to be able to wear a power suit with dangerously large shoulder pads"
I had a nightmare recently that was so gruesome and horrible that when I (finally) woke in the early hours I got up and walked about in a shocked state for a few minutes and then crawled back to bed and cried. I so badly did not want to go back into my dark and lonely room (get out the violins). Usually when I am pointlessly worrying over a multitude of concerns I have terrible dreams of looking after and then forgetting about animals until their final rasps of starvation and thirst alert me to my animal caring position. Or Awful Things happen to animals to which I bear witness. This particular dream moved on to people.
Sticking with the gruesome theme my brother has some kind of really hideous mouth disease (that is the medical phrase). I was appointed inside mouth looker with torch. It is quite a disgusting form of employment so take note never be forced into or choose to look inside mouths of the inflicted. I was the confirming back-up opinion. Hmm yeah, that does look really, REALLY SICK, get to the dentist immediately and move away from me you great big diseased lump of head. Actually, I was very kind and accompanied him to the supermarket where he purchased the following:
Soup
Milkshake
Yoghurts
Profiteroles
I am no expert but I am guessing that profiteroles are not going to be the easiest food items to eat when you are unable to chew. He said the pain would be worth it. I was engrossed in a long MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM (as in MMMM bonfire lollies!) when apparently I missed the person in front repeatedly trying to tell me something. I wonder how much of day to day life I miss whilst rapt in a world of bonfire lollies, roofs full of pigeons and aeroplane trails. Probably nothing all that interesting.
This is how many people turned up to my university class
1
2
3
4 but 4 does not count because that was me.
I suppose 5 if we include the tutor.
This is how many members of my group arrived for the presentation:
Yes that is a big blank space and I am not saying 1 to count myself because that is blatantly a case of filthy fucking whores.
All is good however because I moved us forward to December the 10th and I am not telling a single one of them and I will not be turning up (maybe).
(ok, maybe I will but whatever, I will be prepared)
Whilst on this subject, as a lecturer, if four students out of a class of approximately thirty-five were to turn up, I would feel not only sad and dejected but I would stop the class so that those poor four did not have to sit through hours of something which will only be repeated next week to those who did not show. Also, if a presentation which was meant to last no longer than twenty minutes went on for over an hour and a half (to an audience of two) I would stop it and stop them and I would do that before my ears and eyes and lungs fell off.
Inkysoso off to bed to dream awful things about good people