A reason why you should write on sheeny shiny envelopes with biro only: Any other ink will not stay on or dry and you end up with horrid black smudges on your bag, hands, desk etc
Yesterday my mum took me to the zoo for my birthday. Well, to be truthful, she wanted to go to the zoo and I went with her. I have a big love for Naked Mole Rats, Malayan Tapirs and Pygmy Marmosets. I am sorry to all the non-cute animals Mr Rattusrattus, Mrs Pelican and approximately every insect or ape with anything lumpy, bumpy and red hanging out of the backside. I want to be able to eat my hummus salad sandwich without those mental images. I also realised how excellently flexible flamingos are. Their necks and legs can do some incredible acts of bending.
It was incredibly hot and I was sweaty in all sorts of unladylike creases.
I also went out in the evening with a favourite friend for some delicious Chinese and some drinking and dancing. We started affectionately calling each other and inanimate objects fucker. Here�s your drink fucker, cheers fucker. She bought me some rather sexy earrings and a few other little bits and pieces to replace the top she bought me and then decided that she liked too much and coveted.
She told me that when they were clearing out her father�s belongings they got rid of his diaries. I was a little shocked. It�s such a personal piece of his life to part with so easily. She said they were full of notings that were interesting only to him and that she never read them. Apparently he used to ask what they had for dinner a few nights ago so that he could write it down. Personally I think it sounds like excellent diary fodder. It makes me feel muchly happy to think he would write �Sunday we had a most scrumptious dinner of roast potatoes, carrots, chicken and peas.� Although why it pleases me to imagine him as a Victorian gentleman I do not know. Here is my version:
Today (so far) I have eaten and drunk:
1 cup of tea
1 apple
1 cup of tea
1 coffee
1 Emmental and caramelised onion sandwich (apparently I am Mozarella)
1 glass of orange juice
1 Florentine biscuit
Wow, this is probably only half of what I will eat and drink today. My list will be gargantuan. How embarrassing.
Seriously though, it made me think of this journal type thing. I'm not even sure what it is called. This Thins that I started writing in. On. Typing in. A couple of months ago I typed happy beard into Google and some like minded individual has typed happy beard in something called diaryland. Now I think about it two people thinking of happy beards is awesome. Anyway, I started writing crap and it escalated into much more day to day crap. This Thing. Maybe one day i'll tire of slapping my fingers on to the keyboard and plopping out idiotic chunks of nothing.
Something else incredibly good that happened: At the start of the evening when I was working sober, red skirt, pretty shoe floating down the street chic (as opposed to end of the evening drink poured down self, eyeliner smeared about atrocities) I passed my hairdresser in the street. This was the only evening in the entire world of evenings in which I had done something stylish to my hair. My hair was the best behaved pupil on the evening my hairdresser was strolling the other way working cute black trouser, black shirt fiery bob chic. My hairdresser is so pretty I probably have a crush on her.
Whoever work at payroll have the mathematical abilities of a gnat. And I am sure that is being unfair to the gnat. If I was incompetent at my job I would be fired. I don�t understand how they can continuously make so many errors. Every month there are at least 3 people who have been mispaid. This month EVERY member of part time staff got paid half. I have spangtacular things planned for August and I am sure many people need extra money to go on holiday.
Right I must go now as there is cleaning to be done
Is it coming across that I am very birthday excited? I don�t think it is but I am. I am feeling squirmy.
Furthermore my bra strap is really uncomfortable. I just want to take it and my make up off and wear my lovely soft olive green top and jeans and be barefoot. My body knows what time of the month it almost is and it�s being demanding.
Now, alas, there is cleaning to be done and then later M�s damn fine ass is making an arrival and we can celebrate my birthday too
Thank Fuck
Inkyinkyinkysosososososoosossosososoosososososoooooooooooooooooosososososo