The opening of a new contraceptive Pill packet. It is not in fact the opening of the packet itself because I have dexterous fingers and thumbs and even if I did not I would still be able to open it somehow. Possibly with teeth and then this would have the bonus of the pill tumbling straight out into my mouth. My problem is deciding the best place to start on the new packet. Thankfully, it�s the same day each month so there are 3 starting possibilities. Otherwise, with 21 choices of starting positions I think I would crumble under the pressure. I want to choose the day on the packet that looks most right. It is important that the circuit starts in the right place. This is based on my mind�s loopy aesthetical reasoning. As far as I know this �right place� only exists in my head.
To all you women who use the Pill packet as a bookmark (next to the bed, bookmark shaped, perfect): Don�t forget to take it out before you return the book to the library. I have binned packets from returned books before. Google did not offer any sites on Pill packet bookmarks but did give me This gem.
Week men naively believe that size doesn?t matter for women, though lying to themselves. They are saying, that they are satisfied with everything and that rumors about penis size are useless and groundless. Mostly these are week and lazy men
Such professional spelling and grammar. Such a professional photo of a scientist with glasses and a clip board.
A GAME THAT I BELIEVE M AND I ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD TO EVER PLAY
One time we were at Ikea buying a big bookcase to store all of M�s thousands of CDs and DVDs. I think he was getting sick of them overtaking the place. If I say that they were everywhere I do not think that the true picture of exactly how overtaking every possible space and surface they were is conveyed. The fun thing about Ikea is the words Oh a Grubby is a shower curtain! This is a Gurdelspank! This is totally irrelevant apart from we were at Ikea rummaging through a bucket of strange light bulbs when a man said to his girlfriend �What you got that for, babe?� and she replied �Christmas, babe�. This has such endless possibilities in my game. I can say to M �Why you wearing that, babe?� and because he knows what is best and loves me enough to join in with my strange games he will reply �Christmas, babe�. Or he can ask me �What do you want to eat, babe?� And he knows that I am hungry for Christmas, babe. The way that these sentences are spoken is crucial because otherwise you are doing all sorts of strange and wrong things to a babe. Hopefully nobody wants to eat a babe.
Yesterday was M�s 21st birthday. We went to the Tower Bridge Exhibition. Going down to the engine rooms to see how the bridge functions was excellent fun. If you love buttons and levers that move and light things up as much as I do then you too will love the engine rooms. How It All Works is still totally baffling to me. It was far too logical and mathematical and besides I was in button pressing glee. M had to take hold of my arms at one point to stop me. The engines and machinery are beautiful. This seems a strange thing to say about bridge opening engines but they are so impressively massive and mathematically correct. Here is a message to all narky shopkeepers who are going to keep a giant James Brown that sings and dances when you press a button*: Don�t bother with the DO NOT TOUCH sign because if you are displaying this and there is a button that starts it off and it is visible and it is calling to me you know I am going to press it.
* (!) They are selling this for Father�s Day. Because what father would not want that?
FATHER�S DAY!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
I am irritated because as I was writing about a dancing James Brown doll I thought of something else I would like to write about walking around in the sunshine yesterday but I have forgotten and no amount of racking my brain cell is making me remember.
At work on Saturday Gio upset me by saying I was off the wall. He actually said �I know you will answer frog or something because you are off the wall.� I do not remember where the frog came in to this but he must have asked me something. He said it in a resigned, horrible way and it upset me because he really thinks that I am weird or strange. Then I got worried because less than one minute after I told M about this I was doing an (excellent) impression of how a colony of termites would attack and eat a human.
OH I have so much more to say but I am being instructed to go and look after some children.
Inkysoso would never love you and leave you