When I feel like it might be a good idea to be able to see I sometimes wear my glasses (The wonder of vision!). Usually where work is concerned I prefer to go around in a hazy state if unknowing. Yesterday I decided to be a proper grown up and not say ridiculous things, not snort and not burp. I was going to turn over a new leaf. I even wore my glasses and everything (although maybe the super high heels and red lipstick countered the maturity somewhat). Anyway, a lady with rather voluptuous legs wearing micro hotpants came in and started a heated argument with me. The argument involved her shouting at me:

Her: I CANNOT BRING IT IN! I AM GOING TO HASTINGS!

Myself: Well� that�s okay but I can�t renew it because somebody else has reserved it which means you�ll be charged each day it goes overdue

Herself: I DON�T BELIEVE THIS

Myself (being subjected to her hotpant clad arse): Me neither

As she got more agitated her butt cheeks jiggled about and with my new found vision it was all far, far too clear. Today I reverted back to my non-glasses blurry stage of bliss and listened for a long time to Gio telling me about pooh and we both did a certain amount of snorting and burping and I felt much less afraid of seeing all too much of the General Public.

Having said that, one very tiny woman looked at me for a little while after I had helped her and at the moment where it was getting a little disturbing for me to look back she said in a child like voice �I don�t feel very happy at the moment [LONGEST PAUSE OF MY LIFE]� What shall I do? �

I think maybe she needs to speak to someone who is not a buffoon and can help her.

Last night I went into a pub so smoky that my eyes first of all wept to the point where I was asked if I was crying and then dried to the point where I think they squeaked when I blinked. I kind of wanted to pretend I was very upset and weeping and put my head in my hands and sob �woe is me, alas alack I am so terribly, terribly desolate� but as it was my day of acting with maturity I refrained. There were shafts of light emanating from every halogen ceiling light and plumes of smoke swirling in each.

Help me! I am watching a programme even though the commentator warned me that it would contain �graphic scenes of invasive surgery�

Yes, that is right

GRAPHIC

INVASIVE

SURGERY

Think I am going to go to bed before I get nightmares

Inkysoso